The Support Group
Four new friends--Janice, Gloria, Ben, and Sue—are talking at a support group sponsored by their local hospital. Their grief counselor, Marjorie, is talking with them.
Janice: When Al died, I couldn't cope. I would wake up every morning at about 3 and I couldn't go back to sleep.
Gloria: After John died, I had trouble sleeping, too. I also lost a lot of weight because I never felt like eating. My daughter was worried about me. She set up an appointment for me to see a counselor. It was helpful to talk with him. He's the one who helped me find this group.
Janice: I found someone to talk with also. I talked with my minister about the hard time I was having. I felt so confused and guilty. Al had suffered so much that a part of me wanted him to pass--to be out of pain.
Ben: Janice—I can understand your feelings. It is hard to see a loved one suffer. My Bess was in so much pain toward the end.
I'm glad we can talk things out here. Keeping it all bottled in was making me ill. I never was much of a talker—but now I see that it does make me feel like I can cope better. You all understand me because you have gone through it – it's different than talking to my married friends who still have their wives around. This group seems good for us.
Sue: Yes, I am certainly glad to have found this group. Talking with the group for these past 5 weeks has helped me more than anything. I'm finally beginning to feel less numb and feel that it's okay to give myself time to feel sad.
Gloria: Me too. Talking about losing John with people who know how it feels to lose someone they love makes me feel a bit better.
Marjorie: I know. It's good to know that it's okay to remember our loved ones and to go forward in life at the same time.
Ben: Right. To go forward slow and steady.
Could a support group work for you? The four people above benefited from talking with others who have been there. Support groups usually have between 4 and 10 members. Most are led by a grief counselor. Call your local hospital or council on aging or ask your family doctor about support groups near you.
You can also go online to find a support group. GriefNet.org has groups for widows, widowers, those who have lost friends or children, and more. Visit www.griefnet.org.
